When I made my recent Chanel-in-a-charity-shop discovery, I did devote a decent amount of brain power to the question, "what kind of crazy shoves a whole load of Chanel into a garbage bag and drops the booty off at their local Vinnies?" Surely you would sell them on ebay or put them a designer consignment store...
Or keep the whole darn lot.
Now there's an idea.
Anyway, Daphne Guinness...
of the Irish for-good-health-drink-three-square-meals-of-beer-a-day Guinness family had a wardrobe clear out recently, and fortunately she's not cuckoo enough to dump her rejects in a clothing bin. Instead she's being sensible and she's selling a load of designer bargains through the Kerry Taylor auction house.
A review of the 267 lots does lead me to ask some other questions. Firstly, how much freaking clothing does she have if she's dumping 96 pairs of sunglasses and 393 pairs of shoes?
The mind boggles, doesn't it?
Why on earth would you get rid of these fabulous red suede Alaia boots?
A pair of Azzedine Alaïa red suede knee-high boots, with slim wedge heel, black lace-up front and side zip, size 36, (2)
Price guide: £80-£120
Who buys Balenciaga and then doesn't wear it??
A group of Balenciaga jackets and separates, including: an unworn cream linen cropped jacket with shaped waistline; two miniskirts, one black lycra with layers of pleats and broderie anglaise; black leather shirt and others, sizes 36 and 38
Price guide: £100-150
Who doesn't treat any garment designed for Albert Elbaz for Lanvin like it's the crown jewels, much less sell it?
A Lanvin brown silk shredded ribbon dress, Autumn 2004, the ribbons caught at waist and hem of skirt, with low V neck and back, size 36
Price guide: £300-£500
Who wouldn't buy this ensemble, prance about it in looking fabulous and then continue to have the option of prancing about looking amazing in this ensemble if you so chose?
An Yves Saint Laurent Rive Gauche leopard-print ensemble, comprising: slim-fitting silk pencil skirt; patchwork chiffon blouse, the seams crudely overstitched native-style, front-lacing; and zip-fronted silk and tulle safari-style waistcoat, average bust 32in 81cm, waist 26in 66cm, (3)
Price guide: £100-£150
Why don't I have size 37 feet? And why haven't I reached a place in my life where it is conceiveably practical to own a pair of ridiculous red suede platforms such as these ie why don't i have a band of sherpas on hand to carry me about the place whenever I decide I'm going to wear these shoes.
A fabulous pair of Christian Dior red suede platform wedges, with multiple straps, patent black ankle strap, covered in pointed metal studs, size approx 37, (2)
Price guide: £100-£150
What's Daphne going to wear to her next "Dress as your favourite Inca punk llama and roast guinea pigs over a campfire" fancy dress event?
A Christian Dior woollen hat, Autumn-Winter 2002, in browns, cream and grey, with mohawk fringing
Price guide: £40-£60
How can I make this Junya Watanabe trenchcoat mine? And does it bother anyone else that someone-or-other-at-Kerry-Taylor-Auctions forgot to do that button up (second on the left)?
A group of Junya Watanabe jackets and separates, mainly black and white, including: black and white woven cotton double-breasted trench coat with metal buttons; knitted grey jumper with bondage straps; oversized white multi-layered cotton jacket, all size S.
Is it really stupid to buy one of these big lots, which I can't see properly at all, and pray that I'll be able to sell anything that sucks/doesn't fit on ebay for a tidy profit?
A group of Ann Demeulemeester jackets and separates, including: grey cracked leather double-breasted trenchcoat; four short black jackets; unworn cream satin dress with open back, original price £430, and others, sizes 34 to 38, (14)
Price guide: £250-£400